Monday, June 13, 2011

Too tired for words

It was a long, long weekend. Nick's ear drum burst on Saturday night, so he was in pain & awake ALL.NIGHT. I think Michael & I each got about an our of sleep in between consoling Nick & trying to help him feel better. We took him to the doctor on Sunday & he has an ear infection in both ears & one of the drums burst. Poor baby. On top of entertaining the company we had, it was a lot. I'm exhausted. Caffeine can't even touch the exhaustion I feel this morning. I also didn't eat well over the weekend - just shoveled food in when I had a free second.

Random images from the weekend:
My fruit tower (it's a Persian entertaining thing)

Me at dinner on Saturday. Ignore the double chin . . I think I see a little arm definition - finally!

At work this morning, looking haggard.
Exhaustion - up close.

Outfit details:
The dress is now too big for me, discovered only after I put it on this morning. It gaps at the chest & is too big in the lower half, so I threw a sweater on to hopefully disguise it.

  • Printed dress - BCBG
  • Black sweater - Jcrew
  • Silver heart necklace - gift from Michael
  • Black patent shoes - Nordstrom
  • Awesome boot - doctor

I know a workout will help give me a little energy today, so that's my plan. And, I need to eat well & fuel my body appropriately so I have energy to survive the day.

These are the days that being a working mom is extremely challenging. You just really can't do it all, regardless of what people say or your own expectations. I've been facing this "is it worth it" career dilemma for quite a while, and thinking about other possibilities. Basically, I'm working on a different master plan once my youngest son enters kindergarten (next fall). More on this to come, but it actually feels harder to have balance and be a great mom/parent as my kids get older. With Sam starting elementary school in the fall, schedule coordination gets increasingly challenging. I keep asking myself if money is worth the stress we're all under in my house, and whether we would be better served if I took on a consulting/freelance role in the same industry I'm in now. There are plenty of opportunities, and my schedule would be infinitely more flexible. It's something I've wrestled with for months now. Deep thoughts on a Monday morning.

Have you ever had a career or work/life balance crisis?


  1. OMG, how does an ear drum even burst on it's own? That sounds SO painful.

    As for your work, can you work part time. Maybe 30 hours a week and take some of the stress off while still bringing in money? If I had a choice in my life...I would work part time. And I don't even have kids. But I'd be really good to my bunny.

  2. I REALLY love your natural hair color. It's so pretty!

  3. Paula - oh, it's because I had a total mom FAIL this weekend. Nick had a cold & he got checked out by the doctor that it was nothing, so we let him go swimming on Saturday, and of course, by that point it was an ear infection but we didn't know. The pressure from the pool combined with the ear infection made the drum rupture. He was throwing up, couldn't walk (no balance) & writhing in pain. I felt like the worst mom in the world. Mom guilt is the worst.

    I could work part time, but I'd actually make more doing consulting & could choose my own hours, which would be even better. From my experience, people who work 30 hours/week in the company I'm in end up working more than they're paid for & it's stressful to set expectations about your working hours. With a consulting or vendor role, you don't have to worry about that.

    Almost - thanks! It's almost there! Maybe by the fall I can trim off the last of the blonde. Can't wait. ;-)

  4. Ear drum burst? Ow!

    I'm a big fan of staying at home, but I do wish I could bring in money somehow. It's such a hard decision (sorry, I'm not helpful at all!)

  5. Work/life is a constant struggle. It's always something.... of course, family always comes first. I'm fortunate enough to have a boss that is understanding (though we are encouraged to work from home in these situations). I'm such a nut that I was back at work one week after having baby #2 (from home of course). I hope Nick feels better soon... I think they evenutally grow out of the ear infection thing.

  6. I'm not much help in this department since I don't have any kids. Any work/life balance issues I have seem minor without the stress of children. I don't know how you do it!! Hang in there :(

  7. Woah, the fruit tower made me seriously hungry! A burst eardrum sounds horrible, but you shouldn't beat yourself up. I hope he's feeling better and you get a chance to catch up on your sleep!

  8. Aww poor Nick :( I hope he's feeling better! Family and work dilemmas like the one you're in now are always tough, but if you're anything like me then family comes before anything else. Sometimes missing out on things in your kids' lives and the added stress of working are just not worth the extra money.